Took a little drive in the good ole Ford today, got lost, but finally made it to Mt. Peak in the prestigious land of Enumclaw - the pride of Washington state. More than anything, I enjoyed having an adventure by myself. I've felt really trapped lately. I find that I have a threshold for organization vs. chaos in my daily life. If my schedule tips too far to either side, the imbalance drives me crazy. The decision to walk/hike in this particular location was a last minute idea and I just went with it. I hadn't been here for years but it took me back.
Reflecting on the next part of my life, I'm nervous about the path I'm going to take (mostly the uncertainty of what path that is). Childhood has afforded me the opportunity to pursue different interests and hobbies, but I'm frightened by the commitment and responsibility I'm going to have to take for my soon to come choices. It's easy for me to make the best of a poor situation but to carry on knowing that my actions directly led to wherever I find myself scares me. At the same time though, I don't want to stop moving and I know everyone feels the same anxiety.
*insert cheesy metaphor for the mists of uncertainty that surround my future here*
I remember I took a picture of the same rock formation for a biology project 3 years ago. That seems like it happened so long ago. I wish I could know how I will perceive this previous year 3 years from now. For example, I remember Sophomore year as being easy going and relaxing, but I didn't think of it that way then. How am I going to remember Senior Year? That's another thing I get anxious about: not utilizing my time well. There's something wonderfully rebellious about wasting a perfectly beautiful day doing nothing. Of course, those aren't the days you remember. But is it better to enjoy the moment or have a happy past? Wow, this blog is getting really pensive. Sorry 'bout that.
On the lighter side, one of my new year's resolutions was to take more selfies. Life's too short right? There's also periods when I'm upset that I'm not taking enough pictures or journaling enough. They're little spells of my life with insignificant events I can't remember without some sort of written memento, and I WOULD like to remember them if possible. You forget the little things, and sometimes they make the difference. I had a club soccer coach that used to say, "Boys, tell me, is it the big things, or the little things that are going to help us win the game?" I'd always get really upset cause he'd focus on the little things and then we'd suck at the big things lol. Man I need a haircut, I mean LOOK AT THAT! What would I look like bald? Hmmm well I got that to look forward to. Actually now that I think about it, both my grandpas still have quite a lot of hair. Wow, looks like things are turning out okay for me!
This format is killing me. Well anyways, thank you Mrs. Myers for the assignment. I found it very relaxing and a genuinely good time to reflect. I'm only sorry I didn't have such a profound experience as you did on your first new years walk. However, I own my hike today and I'm thankful for the time to myself. I know I don't have everything together in my life but I trust God with the rest. Is it bad to set high expectations for a year? More importantly though, is it wrong to set low expectations? Does optimism mean searching for something that might not be there, or dealing with your situation with the best attitude possible? Ooo good questions. See, this walk really did give me a lot to consider. The one thing I'm sure about though is that I'll never forget about it because the memory is saved in this blog. :)
