“Mr. Scrappy, come back!”
The team got only a glance of the black loafers as
Ed ran out of the room. While the oppressive heat of the day wafted into the
room, the tired paint seemed to flow down the vanilla-scented walls, dead to
the world, lacking the energy to keep its place. In the
sharp corner, even the plastic tree drooped it's faded green leaves to the
floor. The air was moist and thick as it covered the gang in a slippery layer
of perspiration. Melanie, sprawled out on the couch, desperately fanned herself
with a stray leaf of paper, the notes of the day's meeting. Hanna, surviving on
a minimum of her normal sleep was thrown against the wall like a limp doll, too
exhausted to seek oasis in the sanctuary of the pitiful fan whispering its
pathetic breeze against the backs of Dani and Madison. Sonia was God knows
where; the most cunning, she had probably put a down payment on a gorgeous
pool, fully equipped with a diving board and a British butler months ago. Keaton
sat on Uncle Fuddrucker in the centre of the room, slipping in and out of a
dull consciousness, trying desperately to recall the team's purpose for being
at school in the first place.
"I think I'm going to throw up," mumbled
Dani under her breath, barely capable of being understood.
"I second that," replied Madison.
"Me three," said Melanie.
The words, hardly audible to Keaton as he pictured a
tall glass of lemonade before him, seemed miles away. The team had two weeks to
plan for Tolo yet hardly any work had been accomplished during this hiatus
caused by the recent heat wave that had hit Seattle like a wrecking ball. One
might as well have asked them to clean the school rather than make any
progress, the former being more likely. The recent memories of the past ASB
teams seemed to offer some solace, as their events always appeared to be
miraculously pulled off in the allotted amount of time.
"You're
the president, Keaton, take charger!" Mr. Ed's advice from the day before
floated in some random area of Keaton's delirium. His face revealed no
motivation, and the team mirrored the same.
"Another day," he said to himself,
"no one will be disappointed."
No sooner did he let out his last remark, a little
freshman strolled past the room in her bright pink t-shirt with the Nepal
mountains standing hopefully on her back. She turned sharply spotting the team
in their devastating condition and offered a luminescent smile.
"Oh my gosh, are you guys planning Tolo? I'm so
excited!" she excitedly burst out.
As if awakened from their slumber, the team turned
slowly to the youthful voice in the doorway.
"You guys are the best! I wanna be on ASB when
I'm a Senior, maybe even when I'm a Junior! Bye guys!" She rushed out of
the in hot pursuit of her date which she spotted in the hallway. His quick
footsteps could be heard retreating from the clicking of her heels.
Suddenly, as if a cool breeze had flown from the tip
of Mt. Rainier to rejuvenate his body, Keaton jumped up from the fluffy Panda
with a newfound energy in his eyes. He saw the sunshine pouring through the
hallway windows and could smell the sweat autumn leaves as they danced in the
wind. The soft sound of the breeze outside seemed to overpower the light clanking
of the ancient fan, and he looked down at his weary comrades.
"Well what are you all doing lying down? We got
work to do! Allons-y!"
I groaned at the "like a wrecking ball" comment you slipped in there. The way you described the room is seriously how being in that room feels on a hot day. It's the worst. But also that you are described as the one to jump up and get things going is so true! Geronimo might have been a better word choice that Allons-y :)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha I did the same as Dani when I saw the "wrecking ball" snuck in there... but I really liked the little things you tried to slip in-I don't know if it's your whole psychology trick experimentation but I found it intriguing and it was well executed. Your descriptions of our rag-tag little team was spot on and I could literally see each person acting out what you described. I absolutely love the imagery you used. It was very creative and thought provoking. And I don't know if you had a particular freshman in mind but even her description made me think of someone... haha in any case this was very well written and very enjoyable to read. Bien hecho.
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely captured the atmosphere of the functionally dysfunctional ASB family (a complex character in itself) and the cramped little closet where we all create some of the wackiest, yet fondest memories of my high school career. You perfectly recreated every detail--from Ed's black loafers to the oppressive and distracting temperature of the room--and I applaud you for your impressive storytelling talents. This was extremely encouraging especially as we are in the midst of chaotic Tolo preparations. The smile on that (maybe) fictional freshman's face makes it all worth it :)
ReplyDeletePS: The British butler will be delivered on Monday.
Great figurative language Keaton! Your use of hyperbole and imagery was fantastic. Even the adjectives selected -- Mel's desperate fanning, Hanna being "thrown against the wall," Dani's mumbled invalidism-- funny and vivid characterization. I loved too the detail about the Nepalese mountains on the back of the freshman's shirt. Since her giddy quips seemed to wake everyone up, it was nice to have that mountain connection with the Mt. Rainier breeze that finishes the job.
ReplyDeleteGreat writing. Looking forward to Tolo! :)
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