As time doth sleep upon thy youthful heart,
Now waging war against all tender flesh,
A slander summons none but one remark:
Tis thoughts, not age which make a man feel fresh.
She greets him like a friendly taproom maid,
and slips her blade within his sunken form;
Sweet liquid seeps in weary accolade,
And crown'd with jewels engraved with words forlorn.
Yet babes know not the callow sense of he
who weeps at chance now lost by those long cold,
Horizons fail to feign uncharted seas,
From laughing eyes, first wrench'd before made old.
How free am I to waste what's given me,
Whilst thou doth claim regained eternity
How free am I to waste what's given me,
Whilst thou doth claim regained eternity
Well, well, well...! This challenge was pretty well accepted! In fact, you did such a good job writing this, I'm having a hard time unraveling its complexity. Let me start breaking it down for myself...
ReplyDeleteSo the speaker is addressing a youth-- that's the "thy youthful heart" being addressed. Although, actually-- the addressee might be OLD but still have a youthful heart since the speaker makes the sagacious remark that "tis thoughts, not age which make a man feel fresh." (great line, by the way.) Okay, so for now, the "you" is youthful in spirit, possibly in age. I like that you said time "sleeps" on the youthful heart, even while it damages flesh-- reemphasizing the fact that, though we may grow old physically, time can't necessarily take our hearts' youth. Okay, now I'm suspecting more that the "you" is old in body, young in spirit. Correct? Incorrect?
Moving on to the next quatrain, we leave the "you" behind and are now dealing with a "she" and a "he." The "she" seems symbolic of something-- maybe slander? Maybe age? The sweet liquid must either represent alcohol, since she greets him like a taproom maid, or blood, since she sticks a blade into "his sunken form." More probably the latter, and that makes me think she does represent slander: she's friendly on the outside but violent. (A motif developing of outward appearances vs. inner realities.) Furthermore, the blood (if it is blood) seeps into the "weary accolade"-- so, the "he" has earned rewards, but wearily, and they're not impervious against slander. Am I interpreting this right? And that would continue to be illustrated in the next line, where the crown of jewels-- which normally would allude to our heavenly reward which can never "perish, spoil, or fade" (great use of allusion!)-- is ironically said to have "words forlorn" on it. So: either she ruined the words with her blade, or they were never very wonderful to begin with.
Third quatrain is still with the "she" and "he." This quatrain is the hardest to figure out in my opinion, partly because "fain" is used as a verb, when normally it's an adjective or an adverb. I think that what this quatrain is saying is essentially: a youth feels old before his time (which would contrast with the "you" in the first quatrain who might be old, but inwardly young), and weeps for the chances not taken by those who have already passed away. I'm not quite sure how to understand the horizons line, but I'm guessing it represents adventure and opportunities.
The couplet returns to the "you," and the speaker acknowledges himself for the first time: "How free am I to waste what's given me / Whilst thou doth claim regained eternity." (So good!) I misquoted that actually-- you didn't put a period on the end, which irks me, but perhaps it was intentional since you're talking about eternity. If it was intentional, it was an ingenious syntactical move. If not: practice good habits of punctuation for goodness' sake.
If I had to write a timed write on this, I would say it's a meditation on what's actually worth living for. But I don't think that's the whole of it, so I would love some follow up commentary from the author. But first, can any of you other AP folks help analyze with me? How would you analyze Keaton's sonnet? I might be completely off base, which would be embarrassing, but a healthy example of surviving another day in spite of being flagrantly wrong in public. :)
In any case--!
15/15
^What she said.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I really liked the sonnet Keaton. The use of the rhyme conveys a good meaning, and the execution was perfect. I really like this one.
Thankfully we don't have to do a timed write on it though haha.
The ending 2 phrases make the entire thing perfect. Great job Keaton :)